I struggled for the longest time with giving feedback to others in a positive and constructive manner – without upsetting someone else or have them think that I was trying to put pressure on them. And it’s interesting that I’ve found that I’m not unique in this. Many business owners struggle with the same thing.
And in fact, one of my clients shared with me, “We don’t know how to give feedback in a positive way without having it look like we’re blaming our employees. We feel like we’re pointing fingers, so as a result we don’t give any feedback and instead provide every excuse and justification to make it seem that the results they achieved (although substandard) are okay.”
What I discovered (and what I encouraged my client to understand) is that feedback is essential. It’s a critical element in working as part of a team.
When I don’t provide invaluable feedback to my team members or to loved ones in my life, like my husband ; ), I begin to feel resentful. Now I recognize that when I feel resentful, it’s a sure sign that I’m not “showing up” or interacting in a powerful way.
How do I know if I’m giving empowering feedback versus just pointing my finger at someone else? While it’s not always clear, it’s helpful to inquire about my motives.
Have I willingly explored my part in terms of how I might be contributing to the situation? What’s my intention? Is it to blame, judge or get angry with someone else?
Or is it to create a breakthrough in terms of our relationship? Am I sharing from my feelings and personal experience or am I just telling them what to do? Am I working with them to co-create a solution?
Often the most generous and loving thing I can do is offer feedback
I now give feedback with intention of empowering other people AND myself. My mindset is that when I give feedback, I am giving others and myself the opportunity to grow.
Take a moment to think of someone (in your business or personal life) that you’re feeling resentful about.
I challenge you to give honest, empowering feedback to at least ONE person today. Who would that one person be? When and where will you talk to them today? What is your intended outcome for your conversation?
And feel free to send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know how it goes!
Go for it! And steady on –