Have you ever experienced times in your life where things were unfolding with ease, and life seemed to be humming along just great when suddenly, without warning, your “good fortune” came to a screeching halt and you found yourself feeling stuck and stagnant?
It’s easy to feel positive and joyful when things are going your way – but it’s another thing entirely to find your way back to joy when you’re caught in a cycle of frustration and struggle. During these times it’s easy to sink deeper into self-blame, guilt and pity.
This feeling of stuck-ness could present itself in a variety of ways: Maybe you run your own business and you’ve experienced a huge flux of income and then all of a sudden clients or projects stop coming your way and you find yourself waking up in the middle of night wondering where your next “paycheck” is going to come from.
Maybe you’ve landed that new, perfect job that’s going to solve all your problems and then shortly after you realize it’s not so perfect after all. Or perhaps you’ve experienced many years of exceptional health and all of a sudden find yourself struggling with bad health, or you’ve been in a fantastic relationship that suddenly becomes less than ideal, or you go through the grief of the passing of a loved one.
So what do you do when you realize that you’ve lost your mojo and how do you get it back? A while ago I found myself struggling with this very question. I hated to admit it to myself, but I couldn’t deny it – incredibly, I was energetically and emotionally STUCK. Life had been humming along beautifully …I was experiencing dramatic leaps in my business and then all of a sudden the flow just seemed to stop.
Money stopped coming in and I found myself struggling to recreate the excitement and anticipation that I had experienced before. This in turn affected other areas of my life. I wasn’t inspired to exercise as much nor did I feel as loving or close to my family and friends. Try as I might I just couldn’t seem to shake this for myself. But with time I moved through my stuck-ness and leaped into another new level of growth in my business.
I’d like to share what I learned so that you can apply this to any situation that you find yourself stuck in and that you’re ready to shift…
- One of the main reasons we get stuck is because we get caught up in an internal conversation about our circumstances that we believe is accurately describing reality, but in truth it’s just an interpretation. We’re unable to discern “what actually happened and what’s real” from the meaning that we’ve given things. And then we spiral downward as we buy into our meaning or interpretation. This ironically is how we begin to experience the exact circumstance that we wanted to avoid in the first place. Several years ago I had an injury to what I thought was my hamstring… I couldn’t walk a quarter of a mile without experiencing pain. Everyone I talked to told me how difficult it was to heal from hamstring injuries. I got caught up in an internal conversation that sounded something like, “I’m never going to be able to run again or go hiking- I’ll never be able to heal from this injury. Everyone says it’s really difficult, so I’ll probably be injured for the rest of my life.” I wasn’t very motivated to get help because I felt my situation was hopeless. But then I realized that this was just an internal conversation I was having and that it wasn’t really TRUE! It was a conversation I created out of fear. So I asked myself what step I felt inspired to take – I called my chiropractor, made an appointment and the next day after the appointment I was able to walk a mile easily – and within a week I was running again!
- Difficult situations often require that you surrender to the full range of the feelings and experiences that you’re having from your “stuck place.” There are times when no amount of self-help books, advice from loving friends and well-meaning spouses, tools, tips and tricks will work. Nothing seems to bring relief from your pain and struggle.
Consider this as an opportunity for you to go through it, without resisting your feelings and emotions trusting that they will eventually shift as a result of fully experiencing them.
You’re probably familiar with the saying, “what you resist, persists.” So if you’re resisting your feelings – that’s when you usually will get stuck with them.
When this has happens for me I give myself permission not to have a perfect day or even a perfect week (if needed). During these times I declare, and sometimes out loud if I’m by myself, “It’s okay for this day to be imperfect – today is going to be a perfectly, imperfect day!”
What this does is that it immediately lessens my resistance to the experience that I’m having and allows my judgments about it to drop.
As a result the “fog” or “funk” that I was in seems to magically lift on it’s own – before I know it my mood feels lighter and I find myself back in the flow again.
- Remember, every situation is actually an opportunity to hold an internal conversation of possibility – REGARDLESS of the current circumstance is that you find yourself in. The key is to keep your attitude from being shaped by your circumstances – and instead to be determined by YOU – REGARDLESS of your external circumstance.
James Allen, the author of “As a man Thinketh” has a wonderful quote in his book, “Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.”
On the opposite side of every challenge lies the opportunity for huge breakthroughs and even greater growth as the authors of our own lives.
When we hold a future that is grim it often follows we become resigned, unmotivated and stuck in thinking that nothing will really make a difference. Conversely, it’s when we hold a future of possibility that is exciting to us and we allow our feelings and emotions to be there without resisting them that we naturally transform back to motivated action, regain flow and our mojo. This is true power.
If this article resonated for you please share your insights, wisdom and comments! By sharing your thoughts you can make a difference for others.